Loving the Law

I have so many things to post about.  My Thanksgiving break was amazing!  I wasn't even aware of how much I needed it, but it turned out to be such a blessing.  However, tonight I am not going to go into all the wonderful things that happened while I was home.  I will come back to that later.  Tonight I want to write about the Bible.  The Bible has intimidated me for some time.  I have gone back and forth for my love for it.  I feel so terrible even writing those words out, but they are true.  I know how wonderful God is; I know in my head that the Bible is Him speaking to us, but I haven't felt it in my heart in a while.  At Bible class tonight I started thinking about what is wrong with me, and I think I figured it out.  The Bible scares me.  It scares me so much so that it's hard to talk about.  I realized it does this to me in two ways.  The Bible is an absolute truth that cannot be ignored.  No matter what I do, where I go, how old I am, or what is going on in my life, the Bible is there, constantly, with The Truth.  That's it.  That's what it is.  Now I love that God is always there.  I have found no greater comfort in my life than knowing that God is there no matter what.  No matter what I am feeling, He is there!  That is so special and wonderful and crazy and tremendous!  I can almost feel a warm touch and Him calming me down sometimes if I choose to take a step back and ask as I should.  But back to the point, it scares me that there is such an absolute truth.  I can't tell you why exactly when it is such a blessing, but it does.  Secondly, I am intimidated by the Bible.  Being at Freed-Hardeman is nothing but a blessing!  I mean that.  I am surrounded by some of the best people in the world, and the teachers are amazing.  I don't know if I would even be near the straight and narrow path if God had not made it possible for me to be here.  Saying that, being surrounded by such knowledgeable individuals is scary too.  I feel as if I'll never be there--I'll never know that much.  Part of me is okay with that because I love reading the Bible with the simplicity of a child and taking it at face value, but to put everything together and the history and families and to truly understand what God is trying to show us, more study and knowledge is required.  And that is scary.  But tonight I also found that feeling of loving God's word again.  I realize I have got to put it at the top of my priority list!  It cannot slip any longer.  This is the time to step up and quit using my fear and intimidation as an excuse to read five verses and feel like I've done my duty for the day.  Not only is reading commanded, but it is a blessing to be literate with not one, not two, but three Bibles sitting in my room.  There is no excuse for choosing not to and no reason to turn down such a blessing.  Okay--so now to the main point of this post (now that's what is scary--I've written this much and am only now getting to why I began writing)... We studied Psalm 119 in class tonight.  This is the longest Psalm and happens to fall directly in the middle of the Bible.  Also, it is an acrostic poem, which apparently means that within a stanza each verse begins with the same Hebrew letter.  Sounds pretty neat to me, even if I don't understand exactly what that means.  I decided to come back to my room and read.  I did not just want to read though, I wanted to meditate, put the words into my heart.  Because I can use this knowledge if it's in my heart, not just in my hand.  I read Psalm 119:1-32.  This passage is amazing!  The entire chapter is speaking of loving God's law.  176 verses on loving God's law!  I mean wow--I really never would have thought.  That is why I needed this so very badly, and why it is so fascinating to me.  For instance, v. 14, "In the way of your testimonies I delight as much as in all riches."  Testimonies=God's law.  So I love God's law as much as I love all my blessings?  Really?  That concept has just taken hold of my heart.  Loving God's law.  Now maybe we say we love God's law, but truly loving it?  That is so groundbreaking, so breathtaking, so transforming.  If I can love God's law the way I love 'riches' or blessings as I am thinking of it, then how could I break it.  In verse 18 it says, "Open my eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of your law."  I love that as well--asking God to open my eyes that I may see what He wants out of His law.  We all know that His law has a purpose, but how often do we step back and see what that purpose is?  Do we do it often enough?  I know I have always found sincere happiness in realizing God's law has a purpose (like not eating pigs in the Old Testament because they carried diseases), but I have not done this enough.  I am so excited to begin loving the law and all the things God has planned for us.  Finally, verse 11, "I have stored up your word in my heart that I might not sin against you."  I think this says it all.  If we study, meditate, and learn God's word, it achieves so many things, most importantly us showing we love Him by keeping His commandments and loving Him and what He has shown and told us.  Goodnight!